Anita.

When I arrived at the bus station in Pune, I was greeted by Surekah Gaikwad who is a counselor at Zila Pradishad. She has been specializing in Family Counseling for over 10 years. Together we took a rickshaw to the counseling center where I would meet and talk with a current client.

I was introduced to Anita and she was informed of my presence and reason for internship with Chaitanya. She greeted me kindly and spoke some English. I was somewhat relieved. It is always a little awkward to be meet someone for the first time and know that they are about to tell you their personal marriage problems right then and there. Anita had no problem with this at all.


Anita is a 25 year old woman who was married in 2010 to a 26 year-old man. She has been educated up to the college level, but has not yet completed her degree. The husband has been educated up to the 10th standard. They live with his parents in a village outside of Pune.

Anita first came to the center on May 13, 2011 to discuss issues and concerns that have come about during her first year of marriage. She began by explaining that since the beginning of their marriage her husband has not been able to make a "positive adjustment". His behavior has been erratic and often treats her unkindly and with no respect. Often, the husband will verbally abuse her by yelling, shouting, and “rough talking” during arguments. The arguments are created by the husband who constantly targets her actions, behavior, and work around the house. The husband is believed to be a threat to her safety because he has physically harmed her body with scratches and cuts to her arms, causing her to bleed.

Anita began to notice that her husband was spending time with his brother’s wife and would not let her join the conversation or enter the room. She has come to find that he has been having an affair with the sister-in-law, which perhaps this is the cause of much of the tension and anger that he is having towards his wife. This situation has clearly been affecting her self-esteem as she was quite upset and frustrated during our session.

The husband has not been willing to come to the counseling center to talk with Surekah. She has even went out to the village to see him herself, but was not received well. It seems that he also shouts at people who are not his wife, and want to talk about his affair and marriage problems. The only thing he could manage to say is that he is not the problem, but Anita is. He refuses to talk and when he has he lies about what his behavior has been like.

I asked Anita if she would like to stay married since as of now, he does not. She does want to be married to him, but only if he is able to change and become a husband that she deserves. Anita was joined by her uncle, mother, and brother, and all were in agreement to compromise so that the marriage would last. However, if they end up getting a divorce it could be difficult for Anita to marry again as Indian culture has very much stigmatized a divorced woman.

Together we talked about our perceptions of marriage, well to a point. With losing meaning in translation there is only so much one can communicate and understand. I can only hope that it gets better for Anita. Whatever the outcome is, I know that she deserves happiness and to be treated with respect from her husband.