Ahmednagar, MHWith Legal Jankar staff, we drove three hours east to a city called Ahmednagar. I was cramped with four other people in the back, praying that the door didn't open and I would fall out every time the jeep hit a bump. It was hot, and then of course, the rains came after awhile.
Ganga tai & Jayshri taiThis reason was considered by the Jankar, but also many felt that it was a false accusation. Primarily, because love marriages are not accepted by families. Which means that her father and family may have pressured her into finding a way out of the marriage. The Jankars also thought she was lying because of the history of relationship between the couple. This of course, I had to question myself since who can know for sure if she was "crying wolf" or telling the truth.
Regardless, here's how it all went down.
Nirmala Chaudhari & Arika tai
All in all, the concept of love and arranged marriage has become rather interesting to me.
Over 90% of marriages in India are still arranged. Less than 5% end in divorce.
For one, this is part of the Indian culture is so obviously different from what the majority of Americans/Westerners know. Arranged marriages?! As in, never met before the wedding. As in, your parents decide for you. Total gamble for your future. The fact that our culture takes so much effort to focus our attention on what love is, falling in love, chemistry, true love, and having a soul mate it's hard to imagine what someone is going through during the process of an arranged marriage. Take a look at the divorce rate. We all know Americas: HALF of all marriages end in DIVORCE. Who's to say that the rest of India's 95% is in a happy and loving marriage? Most of the time it is very difficult for marriages to end and can be quite costly.
So is it better to marry for love or not?
I'd really like to continue with this at a later time. For now, I will post.
It's true- as you said, it's difficult and costly to end a marriage with someone, in India or anywhere. Especially in India, when it is the wife seeking to end the marriage. To answer your question from my perspective- every culture is different, every person in this world is unique, and every single mind believes and thinks differently than that of everyone else's. Therefore, I don't think one is better than the other. Because, arranged marriages work very well for many people- they grow to love each other, or they see each other as cohabitants necessary to reproduce and they experience love in a friendship sort of way with their family and friends. But, for some it does not work, and love is necessary. And, for others- neither of these work.
ReplyDeleteFonda,
ReplyDeleteMaybe we need to divorce the concept of love from the more treacherous one of marriage. Marriage has a lot of functions. If you allow me to speak in very generalized ways, marriage has almost always involved an element of love particularly in the upper classes. For the less fortunate, marriage is also about love, but it becomes interwoven with a whole host of other issues: economics, immigration etc. Not to say that the upper class marriage doesn't have its multifacedness, but that it is more prone to be described or even understood as simply motivated by love.